I am my own worst enemy. As I reflected on the many things I will not do in 2014, negative self-talk became a recurring theme. It’s something that I’ve struggled with the past few years and have put a lot of focused effort behind changing this horrible habit. But as I’ve researched and read, it seems the idea of negative self-talk, which ultimately leads to self-sabotaging is something we all deal with. I even take that one step farther and say that women are the guiltiest of us.
What is Self-Sabotaging?
Just what is self-sabotaging? According to Psychology Today, “Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly.”
Does any of this sound familiar? The tricky thing about self-sabotaging is that most times, people aren’t even aware that they are doing it or are in denial. It comes in all shapes and forms, so it’s important to be self-aware and conscious of your inner voice and if you are/are not reaching your goals.
1.Self-saboteurs focus on the negative and ignore the positive.
2. Self-saboteurs allow fear to guide their thoughts, plans, and actions
3. Self-saboteurs focus on the past
4. Self-saboteurs feel that deep down inside they don’t measure up.
5. Self-saboteurs settle.
6. Self-saboteurs drive people away.
7. Self-saboteurs are masters at procrastination.
How Do You Fix It?
Granted it’s not an easy fix, but here’s a few basics to keep in mind.
1.) Have a Come To Jesus Meeting with Yourself: Admitting you are self-sabotaging is the first step. Once you admit it and decide you are going to do something about it, you can move on.
`2.) Find a mantra: Nothing beats negativity and self-sabotaging habits, than positivity. Find a mantra or scripture to repeat related to an issue that may be tripping you up! For example, I love “I do all things through Christ who strengthens me” or “I’m focused. I’m fierce.”
3.) Develop a list of positive things about yourself (or situation) that you know to be true: Whether it’s from our inner voice or people around us, sometimes the things we tell ourselves simply aren’t true. (ie. “I can’t do xyz,” “I’m fat,” “No one likes me”) Draft a list of positive things about yourself or your situation. If you need a little help crafting the list, ask a friend to help! This list will be your point of reality that you can refer to when the self-doubting voice rears its head.
4.) Visualize what success looks like: I’m a firm believer in creating positive images and day dreaming about what you want to happen. Take time to daydream and visualize the outcome you want. Do this once a day for 15 minutes or more and your outlook will become much different. Not only that, I believe the change will actually happen.
5.) Fight the inner voice: Last but not least, make sure your inner voice continues to tell you things that are true. Fight the negative inner voice that continues to hold you back. It will be hard at first, (I’m not sure how that voice gets so loud) but the more you work at it, the quieter it will become!
Have you been self sabotaging when it comes to your fitness goal? What are some things you will do differently?